It's Friday.

The NEW invitations have arrived. The flowers have arrived. We have another meeting with our fabulous wedding planner tomorrow and a cake tasting on Sunday. I weigh 166. I've lost 33 pounds. Matt has lost 18 since Christmas. I'm so proud of him!

Alone.

I am sad. At this point I'm really considering eloping. I'd refund any money anyone has spent on the wedding thus far. Which I believe would only be the bridesmaids' dresses. What made me think that I deserve a real wedding? I'm not special. I'm no one's "little girl". I'm no one's "best friend". I have two failed marriages which pretty much makes me the laughing stock of the family. Why would anyone waste any time, effort, money on this wedding? There's just going to be another one in a couple of years, right?

Just checking in.

I now weigh 168. I've lost 31 lbs. 18 more to go!