Monday, December 20, 2010
Three Down, One More to Go...
We had a gathering planned for this past Saturday night, but it had to be postponed. So instead we had: Friday- Five Guys and a movie, Saturday- The Olive Garden and a nap, Sunday- home-made pizza and housework. And I weighed in this morning at 177.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Two Down, Two More to Go...
We attended "Matt's family Christmas gathering" this past weekend. I weighed in today at 178 again!
I really wish I didn't receive the call not to come into work today 10 minutes AFTER I walked out the door.
I really wish I didn't receive the call not to come into work today 10 minutes AFTER I walked out the door.
Monday, December 6, 2010
One Down, Three More to Go...
I've successfully made it through the first weekend of December! Despite the fact that I attended a "holiday cookie party" on Saturday, I weighed in this morning at 178! I'm very excited!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Battle of the Bulge.
Today I weighed in at 179. I have officially lost 20 pounds.
Dear Lord,
Please help me through the holidays. I don't expect to lose anything. I'll be happy with just holding at 179 till January. Thank you.
Amen.
Dear Lord,
Please help me through the holidays. I don't expect to lose anything. I'll be happy with just holding at 179 till January. Thank you.
Amen.
Monday, November 8, 2010
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Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Now what?
10:07 AM Wed, Oct 20 - From: Bradford
I may not be able to get the girls friday night. We have to do stuff with the church and the preacher that evening and i don't know how late we'll be. If i can't i'll be there saturday morning to get them
10:11 AM Wed, Oct 20 - To: Bradford
U can't do that 2 me, we have plans
10:12 AM Wed, Oct 20 - From: Bradford
Well im saying i don't know when we're going to be done
10:14 AM Wed, Oct 20 - To: Bradford
Then pick the girls up when u usually do after work and take them with u
no response...?
I may not be able to get the girls friday night. We have to do stuff with the church and the preacher that evening and i don't know how late we'll be. If i can't i'll be there saturday morning to get them
10:11 AM Wed, Oct 20 - To: Bradford
U can't do that 2 me, we have plans
10:12 AM Wed, Oct 20 - From: Bradford
Well im saying i don't know when we're going to be done
10:14 AM Wed, Oct 20 - To: Bradford
Then pick the girls up when u usually do after work and take them with u
no response...?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Hershey.
We loaded the "luxury coach" at 5am. I was concerned that my mother would have trouble making it up and down the bus stairs, but there were handrails and there was no problem. We started out on our 5 1/2 hour drive. I promptly fell asleep. I awoke at 8am. The bus was stopped. We were on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. We SAT THERE for OVER AN HOUR while they cleared an accident. We stopped at a McDonald's for breakfast. Most people, myself included, got off and went inside. Mom stayed on the bus and made her way to the back to use the RESTROOM. We reloaded the bus and continued our journey. We arrived at Hershey's Chocolate World at 12:30. Our scheduled tour started at 11:30. We were rescheduled for 1pm. We had just enough time to make it to the RESTROOM and back. Our tour included various activities which lasted until approximately 2:45. At that time we were given our meal and dessert tickets and directed toward the food court. By the time we were finished eating it was 3:30. We had 30 minutes to use the RESTROOM, do any shopping we wanted, and make it back to the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 4pm. The majority of us stood at the entrance waiting on a few stragglers who decided that they were not given adequate shopping time. When they decided to show up at 4:20, we departed. I, again, promptly fell asleep. At 7:40 I felt my mother stand up in her seat. I had been sleeping for the past three hours. Ear plugs in, sunglasses on, and u-shaped neck pillow in place. Mom made her way out into the aisle. She was headed toward the RESTROOM. The next thing I knew, the bus driver stepped on the brake. I jumped out of my seat. Mom went down. Flat on her back. Right there in the aisle. It all seemed like a dream. I screamed, she screamed, at least a dozen old ladies screamed. I knew that I couldn't lift her. I've tried before and failed. There was a lady in the back who declared that she could get Mom up. She made her first attempt: no go. She made her second attempt: no go. She decided that I needed to get behind Mom and help. So I climbed over the seat and assumed the position. Third attempt: no go. It was then discovered that Mom's one leg was actually UNDER her seat, so it didn't really matter how much effort was being made to lift Mom, she wasn't going up unless her leg was detachable. Meanwhile, the bus driver was not interested in the goings-on of the passengers. He was concentrating on making up the time we had lost by leaving 20 minutes late. We were still going 65mph down the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Mom's leg was repositioned and we gave it one more try. Mom made it up and back to her seat. The entire bus cheered. The only problem was, she still hadn't made it to the RESTROOM. The helpful lady who assisted in picking Mom up off the bus floor accompanied her there and then back to her seat. Mom made a remark that the death grip that the lady had on her actually made the mammogram that she received the Friday before seem enjoyable. We stopped at a service plaza shortly after due to a few ladies demanding a cigarette break. Mom was asked if she needed help off the bus and I quickly made the decision for her. She was not going anywhere. I made my way into the service plaza where I treated myself to a soft drink. I thought I'd earned it. I also picked up a couple of postcards to remind me of this special trip: one with Hershey's Kisses on it, and the other featuring the The Pennsylvania Turnpike. It seemed appropriate since I'd spent 3 1/2 hours in Hershey and 13 1/2 hours on the bus. We arrived back at Mom's building at 10:10. She made it off the bus without incident and declared that she was headed to her apartment to use the RESTROOM. I sprinted all the way to my vehicle.
The trip wasn't a total loss. I learned that "Big Ethel" has to shave (her face) three times a week. She also used to suffer from severe leg cramps. That is, until her doctor recommended that she put a potato in the bed with her. The idea intrigued Gwen, who suffers from "real bad spurs " in her feet. Big Ethel said that she wasn't sure the potato would have the same effect on spurs that it does on leg cramps, but she recommended trying it anyway. Her argument being that it couldn't hurt to try, after all, if it didn't work, Gwen could always remove the potato from her bed and eat it. Gwen agreed and stated that the potato dish of her choice would be hash browns.
The trip wasn't a total loss. I learned that "Big Ethel" has to shave (her face) three times a week. She also used to suffer from severe leg cramps. That is, until her doctor recommended that she put a potato in the bed with her. The idea intrigued Gwen, who suffers from "real bad spurs " in her feet. Big Ethel said that she wasn't sure the potato would have the same effect on spurs that it does on leg cramps, but she recommended trying it anyway. Her argument being that it couldn't hurt to try, after all, if it didn't work, Gwen could always remove the potato from her bed and eat it. Gwen agreed and stated that the potato dish of her choice would be hash browns.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
August.
Where do I start? Grandma passed away on the 4th, we buried her on the 9th. I miss her. I keep having dreams about her. I really wish I could turn them off. My birthday was on the 16th. Grandma was always the first one to call me on my birthday. She'd wake up to take her pill at 8am and call to wish me a Happy Birthday. The telephone always woke me up. This year I turned all the ringers off on all of the phones and I slept in. I didn't want the phone to ring. I knew it wasn't going to be Grandma.
I got an unusually high response for my birthday this year. All of my close friends and family remembered. I credit Facebook for that one. Thank you to everyone for the cards, gifts, phone calls, blog tributes, etc. Matt and I somehow managed to end up childless on my birthday, so we skipped the Boy Scout meeting and used the very thoughtful gift card I received for the Olive Garden. (Thank you, Angie & Jerry!) It was very nice. We then went to the mall to kill some time before we had to pick Ariel up. We ended up in Hallmark, which is usually one of my favorite stores. Note: don't go into a Hallmark store the week after you bury your Grandmother. Not a good idea. I ended up bawling like a baby. After semi-regaining my composure, a clock on display chimed 8:00. This particular clock just happened to play Amazing Grace every-hour-on-the-hour. So the waterworks returned. Amazing Grace was the song Grandma had requested to be played at her funeral. So it was also the song we (my cousin, Julie, and I) chose to play along with the photo slide show. Since Grandma got so sick so fast, we didn't have much time to complete it. We had about 36 hours to gather, select, scan, crop, re-touch, and organize over two hundred photos AND have them perfectly timed to three rounds of Amazing Grace. One night I was up till 4am trying to get the timing right. I listened to Amazing Grace approximately twelve thousand times. I don't think I can ever hear that song again and not think of Grandma.
The time that I got to spend with my Pap Pap, cousins, and aunt and uncle was really great despite the circumstances. Grandma would have loved it. I wish we'd gotten together more often while she was still alive. One of the hardest things was seeing Pap Pap in so much pain. They were married 54 years. He'd be fine one minute and weak-in-the-knees, about to fall down weeping, the next. You never knew what was going to set him off. Pap Pap is now my last living blood grandparent. I never got to meet my mother's mother, my mother's father passed away in 2007, and now Grandma. I haven't been to visit him since the funeral, which I'm feeling guilty about. I haven't had the chance. Sam has football and Hannah has soccer every Saturday. And I dare not visit without the kids.
I am disappointed by the lack of response by some of the people in my life who I thought would have been more supportive after Grandma's passing. You let me down.
Matt's parents came to visit the weekend between my birthday and his. We celebrated with steak and cake. It was nice. We got to show off all of our recent home improvements.
Towards the end of his life, my mother's father needed weekly blood transfusions. Ever since then, I try to donate blood as often as I can. (This is every eight weeks.) The Red Cross usually gives out tokens of thanks. In the past I've received t-shirts, fleece blankets, a pin, an umbrella, and coupons for free donuts, pies, pizzas, etc. After Matt and I got together I started dragging him along on my donations. When I arrived home from my week long stay at Pap Pap's there was a pile of mail waiting for me. In it was a notice for an upcoming blood drive in which the first 100 volunteers who made and kept their donation appointment would receive a free ticket to Cedar Point. So I signed Matt and myself up, we make our donations, and we received our tickets. Our first, and only, opportunity to use them was this past Sunday. The children were with their respective other parents; the weather was hot and dry, and so we skipped church and made a day of it. We had a really great time. I'll post pictures soon, hopefully. I haven't been to an amusement park without kids since I've had them. We got to ride the "big rides". Maybe a few too many, but we survived it.
Today was the first day of school. I got to take the van to get its oil changed. They told me that the water pump is leaking, the air filter is dirty, and there is a nail in the rear passenger side tire. My cousin Julie had a nail in one of her tires recently. We were in the Burlington Coat Factory choosing Grandma's party dress, and when we came out she noticed that her tire pressure was low. Fortunately there was a Goodyear right across the street and she went over there and got it fixed. Looking back, I don't think that was a coincidence. I think that Goodyear hires someone to hang out in Burlington Coat Factory's parking lot and waits for women to go in the store. Then they drive tiny little nails into their tires. Mine just wasn't discovered until today.
My mother lives in a building for the elderly and disabled. She came to me with a flyer about a trip the residents are taking to Hershey, PA. They are taking a tour bus, leaving at 5am and returning at 10pm. She commented on how she'd "always wanted to go" and never gotten to. She'd need me to accompany her. Driven by guilt and missed opportunities associated with my grandmother's passing, I agreed to go. After all, the trip was the same week as my mother's birthday. I'll let you know how that one turns out.
I got an unusually high response for my birthday this year. All of my close friends and family remembered. I credit Facebook for that one. Thank you to everyone for the cards, gifts, phone calls, blog tributes, etc. Matt and I somehow managed to end up childless on my birthday, so we skipped the Boy Scout meeting and used the very thoughtful gift card I received for the Olive Garden. (Thank you, Angie & Jerry!) It was very nice. We then went to the mall to kill some time before we had to pick Ariel up. We ended up in Hallmark, which is usually one of my favorite stores. Note: don't go into a Hallmark store the week after you bury your Grandmother. Not a good idea. I ended up bawling like a baby. After semi-regaining my composure, a clock on display chimed 8:00. This particular clock just happened to play Amazing Grace every-hour-on-the-hour. So the waterworks returned. Amazing Grace was the song Grandma had requested to be played at her funeral. So it was also the song we (my cousin, Julie, and I) chose to play along with the photo slide show. Since Grandma got so sick so fast, we didn't have much time to complete it. We had about 36 hours to gather, select, scan, crop, re-touch, and organize over two hundred photos AND have them perfectly timed to three rounds of Amazing Grace. One night I was up till 4am trying to get the timing right. I listened to Amazing Grace approximately twelve thousand times. I don't think I can ever hear that song again and not think of Grandma.
The time that I got to spend with my Pap Pap, cousins, and aunt and uncle was really great despite the circumstances. Grandma would have loved it. I wish we'd gotten together more often while she was still alive. One of the hardest things was seeing Pap Pap in so much pain. They were married 54 years. He'd be fine one minute and weak-in-the-knees, about to fall down weeping, the next. You never knew what was going to set him off. Pap Pap is now my last living blood grandparent. I never got to meet my mother's mother, my mother's father passed away in 2007, and now Grandma. I haven't been to visit him since the funeral, which I'm feeling guilty about. I haven't had the chance. Sam has football and Hannah has soccer every Saturday. And I dare not visit without the kids.
I am disappointed by the lack of response by some of the people in my life who I thought would have been more supportive after Grandma's passing. You let me down.
Matt's parents came to visit the weekend between my birthday and his. We celebrated with steak and cake. It was nice. We got to show off all of our recent home improvements.
Towards the end of his life, my mother's father needed weekly blood transfusions. Ever since then, I try to donate blood as often as I can. (This is every eight weeks.) The Red Cross usually gives out tokens of thanks. In the past I've received t-shirts, fleece blankets, a pin, an umbrella, and coupons for free donuts, pies, pizzas, etc. After Matt and I got together I started dragging him along on my donations. When I arrived home from my week long stay at Pap Pap's there was a pile of mail waiting for me. In it was a notice for an upcoming blood drive in which the first 100 volunteers who made and kept their donation appointment would receive a free ticket to Cedar Point. So I signed Matt and myself up, we make our donations, and we received our tickets. Our first, and only, opportunity to use them was this past Sunday. The children were with their respective other parents; the weather was hot and dry, and so we skipped church and made a day of it. We had a really great time. I'll post pictures soon, hopefully. I haven't been to an amusement park without kids since I've had them. We got to ride the "big rides". Maybe a few too many, but we survived it.
Today was the first day of school. I got to take the van to get its oil changed. They told me that the water pump is leaking, the air filter is dirty, and there is a nail in the rear passenger side tire. My cousin Julie had a nail in one of her tires recently. We were in the Burlington Coat Factory choosing Grandma's party dress, and when we came out she noticed that her tire pressure was low. Fortunately there was a Goodyear right across the street and she went over there and got it fixed. Looking back, I don't think that was a coincidence. I think that Goodyear hires someone to hang out in Burlington Coat Factory's parking lot and waits for women to go in the store. Then they drive tiny little nails into their tires. Mine just wasn't discovered until today.
My mother lives in a building for the elderly and disabled. She came to me with a flyer about a trip the residents are taking to Hershey, PA. They are taking a tour bus, leaving at 5am and returning at 10pm. She commented on how she'd "always wanted to go" and never gotten to. She'd need me to accompany her. Driven by guilt and missed opportunities associated with my grandmother's passing, I agreed to go. After all, the trip was the same week as my mother's birthday. I'll let you know how that one turns out.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
The never-ending diet...
to recap:
November 16, 2009 - 199 lbs.
February 10, 2010 - 193 lbs.
July 30, 2010 - 187 lbs.!
I gave up ALL soda as of June 27, 2010. (In the interest of COMPLETE honestly, I did have ONE root beer on July 13th.) I have become a big fan of Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero. It has zero calories. And it is naturally sweetened so it doesn't have that funny after-taste most diet drinks have.
November 16, 2009 - 199 lbs.
February 10, 2010 - 193 lbs.
July 30, 2010 - 187 lbs.!
I gave up ALL soda as of June 27, 2010. (In the interest of COMPLETE honestly, I did have ONE root beer on July 13th.) I have become a big fan of Glaceau Vitamin Water Zero. It has zero calories. And it is naturally sweetened so it doesn't have that funny after-taste most diet drinks have.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The smart aleck doesn't fall far from the tree.
Yesterday we learned that a boy from our church fell off the swing set in his backyard and broke BOTH his arms. So I gave the girls each a piece of card stock and asked them to make him a "get well card." After about three minutes, Ariel declares herself finished and I ask to see her masterpiece. It read:
To: Nathan
From: Ariel
I feel bad 4 U. And I bet it is hard to hold this card. Hope you are ok? Bye. From, Ariel
So, I burst into laughter and promptly gave her a new piece of card stock and told her to start over. I blame her father.
To: Nathan
From: Ariel
I feel bad 4 U. And I bet it is hard to hold this card. Hope you are ok? Bye. From, Ariel
So, I burst into laughter and promptly gave her a new piece of card stock and told her to start over. I blame her father.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Father's Day Weekend.
Oil change & replacement brake light in truck - $63.26
Gasoline - $84.88
Admission to Poston Lake Bluegrass Festival - $70.00
Two Poston Lake Bluegrass Festival t-shirts - $20.00
Six matching Americana shirts - $19.22
Camping chair with one year replacement plan - $46.62
Dog's nails trimmed and grinded so she wouldn't puncture air mattresses - $14.00
Breakfast @ Bob Evans - $53.04
Willow Tree figurine - $31.94
Guitar book - $10.65 
Six Father's Day cards - $16.81
Admission & snacks to see Toy Story 3 in 3D - $92.75
After movie ice cream - $17.24
Grand Total = $540.41
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Why do I bother?
I am human. I screw up sometimes. I am sorry.
FYI: I am no longer answering my telephone unless I know who is calling.
I feel like crap.
FYI: I am no longer answering my telephone unless I know who is calling.
I feel like crap.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Grandma's Pants.
Has anyone seen my grandmother's pants? She called today and asked if I borrowed them. I figured I'd try to help her out. She's not a happy camper. Apparently someone took them without asking.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
(Kinda) Good News.
As of June 16, my legal name will return to my maiden name. I wish it were due to a divorce/dissolution but it's not. (Still waiting.) I'm just having it changed. Tired of this last name. I'd rather have my Daddy's last name than any of my exes'.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
You are welcome!
You are welcome for taking care of your sick kid while you were at home passed out, unable to answer your phone. You are welcome for taking his temperature, giving him pain medicine, feeding him breakfast, calling him off from school, arranging for his brother to bring his homework home for him, and making him a doctor's appointment. It wasn't a big thing. I didn't have anything else planned for the day. I'd do the same for my own kid, and I have. I'll be happy to do it again and again, whenever I'm needed. Anytime, really. No charge. I'll do it just out of the goodness of my heart. The best part is knowing just how much I'm appreciated.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
For anyone interested...
I read a billboard today:
Schedule your vasectomy during March Madness and get a free pizza!
Seriously?
I did some research once I got home and it's legit. You also get a copy of Sports Illustrated and a bag of frozen peas.
Schedule your vasectomy during March Madness and get a free pizza!
Seriously?
I did some research once I got home and it's legit. You also get a copy of Sports Illustrated and a bag of frozen peas.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Sharkman.
On the way to school this morning...
Hannah (to Sam): Why do you have those two teeth behind your other two teeth?
Ariel: It's okay. He's just turning into a shark.
Hannah (to Sam): Why do you have those two teeth behind your other two teeth?
Ariel: It's okay. He's just turning into a shark.
Friday, February 12, 2010
I love kids.
Who else can you serve chicken nuggets, pancakes, and macaroni and cheese for lunch? They didn't even flinch.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Poor health.
Matt's grandfather had his surgery today. Everything went well.
Angie unexpectedly had her gall bladder taken out today. Everything went well.
Julie and Lex have RSV. Breathing treatments to follow.
Ariel came home from school sick today. Can't get her in to see the doctor.
Doctor's office called and said my "pap" came back abnormal. Retest in 6 months.
Angie unexpectedly had her gall bladder taken out today. Everything went well.
Julie and Lex have RSV. Breathing treatments to follow.
Ariel came home from school sick today. Can't get her in to see the doctor.
Doctor's office called and said my "pap" came back abnormal. Retest in 6 months.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Blah.
I had a meltdown last night. Wish I didn't let other people's words and actions bother me so much. Very thankful for Matt.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I love my mother.
She drives me crazy sometimes, but I love her. My mother has MS. She uses a walker everywhere she goes, does not do stairs at all, and needs help getting in and out of a vehicle. Aside from her physical disabilities, she is not the same woman who raised me. The MS has affected her brain. The woman that I grew up with was patient and kind. She never had a bad thing to say about anyone or anything. She taught me the phrase, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." And she practiced what she preached. She made cookies and helped me with my homework. We'd sit at the dining table and play Rummy 500 for hours since I was an only child and had little else to entertain me. She'd never let me win though. She thought that losing would drive me to be a better player and she was right. She was always honest with me. (There are two minor exceptions to that that involve Santa Claus and The Cosby Show.) When I went to the doctor for a booster shot and inquired whether or not it was going to hurt she'd tell me, "a little." I've always appreciated her honesty and I've tried to be just as honest with my children. I have my mother to thank for many things. After her diagnoses she became very impatient, unhappy, back-bitey, intolerant, and very forgetful. I realize that some of that is not her fault, it is the MS. But I also think that some of it is due to her feeling that life has handed her a raw deal. She got the shaft and she is bitter. I can understand that.
Because of my mother's physical and mental state, she is a handful to take care of. Sometimes after an outing or telephone call with her I am just exhausted. I take her to the doctor and the dentist. I take her to get her hair cut. I buy all of her groceries, deliver them to her apartment, and put them away. (Matt does help with this often. Thank you, Honey!) I handle all of the paperwork regarding her food stamps, medicaid, social security, and subsidized housing. I answer her same questions over and over and over.
Now, my mother has two brothers, and from those two brothers she got two nieces and a nephew. The nephew is getting married this weekend. We each received an invitation back in November. When my mother got her invite she called her brother. She told me that her brother said that he didn't really expect for her to come, he just wanted to be polite and send her an invitation so that she wouldn't feel snubbed. The wedding was going to be two hours away and that would be two much for her. Okay, then. My Uncle sent her an invitation, and then very graciously gave her a perfect excuse to decline (a.k.a. UN-invited her). My mother showed no interest in attending the wedding. I, on the other hand, LOVE weddings. And since I only have six cousins, two of whom are already married, I wanted to make an effort to be there. I decided that this would be a perfect mini-getaway/date for me and Matt. The kids were scheduled to be with their other parents this weekend anyway. I RSVP'd for two, Matt and myself. All was fine and calm and wonderful until about two weeks ago.
I got a call from the uncle whose son is getting married and he asked me if I'd be willing to bring my mother to a separate, 3-week later, reception thrown by him in honor of the newlyweds. The latter reception was going to be in the groom's hometown rather than the wedding, which was being held in the bride's hometown. That way everyone who couldn't make it to the wedding could still congratulate the couple (a.k.a. buy them gifts.) The second reception was two and a half hours away. Which made me wonder, why would it be easier on my mother to travel 2 1/2 hours 3 weeks later if it was too much trouble for her to travel 2 hours in the first place? Now mind you that we have our children every-other-weekend. So 3 weeks later we would then be a party of six instead of two, plus my mother which would make seven. I pointed that out to my uncle and he said "Oh, I'll have to check and see if that would be okay." Translation: "Aught-Oh, that's going to be much more expensive, and I'm the one paying for this event." (For the record, the invitation for the wedding was addressed "& family," so I assumed that the entire family would be invited to the latter reception as well. Apparently the entire family was welcome as long as someone else was paying for it.) So we got off the phone and he was supposed to get back to me.
Then a couple of days later I get a call from my mother. She had received a phone call from HER uncle who lives an hour away. He's gotta be at least in his 70's. He offered to take her to the wedding. That would require him driving North 1 hour to pick up my mother, South 2 hours to the wedding, then North 2 hours to drop my mother back off, then South another hour to get himself home. Six hours of driving. So then I am plagued with the guilt of making my great uncle drive 6 hours to take my mother to a wedding when she lives ten minutes away from me, we have plenty of room in the car, and we are going to be attending anyway.
Again, my mother had shown absolutely no interest in attending this wedding! I know her. It would be way too much trouble. She would have to find something presentable to wear. Her tank top and sandals that she wears around her 85 degree apartment would not be suitable. She would have to ride in a car for many hours. Whomever was driving would not be doing so correctly. I'm sure that the temperature in the church would be too cold and the temperature at the reception would be too hot. The music would be too loud and the wrong style. The food would either be too bland or too spicy. The restrooms would be too small even if they were standard handicapped-accessible bathrooms. The handicapped parking places would still be too far away from the door, the ramp would be too steep, the parking lot too slippery. The entire event would be one great big long complaint festival. Silly me, I wanted to go to a lovely wedding, have a nice meal, catch up with some relatives, and dance with my sweetheart. If my mother is there there will be none of that.
So now it seems as though she coming anyway, whether I take her or not. Do I go ahead with my plans and at least get to enjoy the two hour drive there and back mom-free? Or do I give in and save Great Uncle What's-his-name? four extra hours of driving?
Because of my mother's physical and mental state, she is a handful to take care of. Sometimes after an outing or telephone call with her I am just exhausted. I take her to the doctor and the dentist. I take her to get her hair cut. I buy all of her groceries, deliver them to her apartment, and put them away. (Matt does help with this often. Thank you, Honey!) I handle all of the paperwork regarding her food stamps, medicaid, social security, and subsidized housing. I answer her same questions over and over and over.
Now, my mother has two brothers, and from those two brothers she got two nieces and a nephew. The nephew is getting married this weekend. We each received an invitation back in November. When my mother got her invite she called her brother. She told me that her brother said that he didn't really expect for her to come, he just wanted to be polite and send her an invitation so that she wouldn't feel snubbed. The wedding was going to be two hours away and that would be two much for her. Okay, then. My Uncle sent her an invitation, and then very graciously gave her a perfect excuse to decline (a.k.a. UN-invited her). My mother showed no interest in attending the wedding. I, on the other hand, LOVE weddings. And since I only have six cousins, two of whom are already married, I wanted to make an effort to be there. I decided that this would be a perfect mini-getaway/date for me and Matt. The kids were scheduled to be with their other parents this weekend anyway. I RSVP'd for two, Matt and myself. All was fine and calm and wonderful until about two weeks ago.
I got a call from the uncle whose son is getting married and he asked me if I'd be willing to bring my mother to a separate, 3-week later, reception thrown by him in honor of the newlyweds. The latter reception was going to be in the groom's hometown rather than the wedding, which was being held in the bride's hometown. That way everyone who couldn't make it to the wedding could still congratulate the couple (a.k.a. buy them gifts.) The second reception was two and a half hours away. Which made me wonder, why would it be easier on my mother to travel 2 1/2 hours 3 weeks later if it was too much trouble for her to travel 2 hours in the first place? Now mind you that we have our children every-other-weekend. So 3 weeks later we would then be a party of six instead of two, plus my mother which would make seven. I pointed that out to my uncle and he said "Oh, I'll have to check and see if that would be okay." Translation: "Aught-Oh, that's going to be much more expensive, and I'm the one paying for this event." (For the record, the invitation for the wedding was addressed "& family," so I assumed that the entire family would be invited to the latter reception as well. Apparently the entire family was welcome as long as someone else was paying for it.) So we got off the phone and he was supposed to get back to me.
Then a couple of days later I get a call from my mother. She had received a phone call from HER uncle who lives an hour away. He's gotta be at least in his 70's. He offered to take her to the wedding. That would require him driving North 1 hour to pick up my mother, South 2 hours to the wedding, then North 2 hours to drop my mother back off, then South another hour to get himself home. Six hours of driving. So then I am plagued with the guilt of making my great uncle drive 6 hours to take my mother to a wedding when she lives ten minutes away from me, we have plenty of room in the car, and we are going to be attending anyway.
Again, my mother had shown absolutely no interest in attending this wedding! I know her. It would be way too much trouble. She would have to find something presentable to wear. Her tank top and sandals that she wears around her 85 degree apartment would not be suitable. She would have to ride in a car for many hours. Whomever was driving would not be doing so correctly. I'm sure that the temperature in the church would be too cold and the temperature at the reception would be too hot. The music would be too loud and the wrong style. The food would either be too bland or too spicy. The restrooms would be too small even if they were standard handicapped-accessible bathrooms. The handicapped parking places would still be too far away from the door, the ramp would be too steep, the parking lot too slippery. The entire event would be one great big long complaint festival. Silly me, I wanted to go to a lovely wedding, have a nice meal, catch up with some relatives, and dance with my sweetheart. If my mother is there there will be none of that.
So now it seems as though she coming anyway, whether I take her or not. Do I go ahead with my plans and at least get to enjoy the two hour drive there and back mom-free? Or do I give in and save Great Uncle What's-his-name? four extra hours of driving?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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