August.

Where do I start? Grandma passed away on the 4th, we buried her on the 9th. I miss her. I keep having dreams about her. I really wish I could turn them off. My birthday was on the 16th. Grandma was always the first one to call me on my birthday. She'd wake up to take her pill at 8am and call to wish me a Happy Birthday. The telephone always woke me up. This year I turned all the ringers off on all of the phones and I slept in. I didn't want the phone to ring. I knew it wasn't going to be Grandma.

I got an unusually high response for my birthday this year. All of my close friends and family remembered. I credit Facebook for that one. Thank you to everyone for the cards, gifts, phone calls, blog tributes, etc. Matt and I somehow managed to end up childless on my birthday, so we skipped the Boy Scout meeting and used the very thoughtful gift card I received for the Olive Garden. (Thank you, Angie & Jerry!) It was very nice. We then went to the mall to kill some time before we had to pick Ariel up. We ended up in Hallmark, which is usually one of my favorite stores. Note: don't go into a Hallmark store the week after you bury your Grandmother. Not a good idea. I ended up bawling like a baby. After semi-regaining my composure, a clock on display chimed 8:00. This particular clock just happened to play Amazing Grace every-hour-on-the-hour. So the waterworks returned. Amazing Grace was the song Grandma had requested to be played at her funeral. So it was also the song we (my cousin, Julie, and I) chose to play along with the photo slide show. Since Grandma got so sick so fast, we didn't have much time to complete it. We had about 36 hours to gather, select, scan, crop, re-touch, and organize over two hundred photos AND have them perfectly timed to three rounds of Amazing Grace. One night I was up till 4am trying to get the timing right. I listened to Amazing Grace approximately twelve thousand times. I don't think I can ever hear that song again and not think of Grandma.

The time that I got to spend with my Pap Pap, cousins, and aunt and uncle was really great despite the circumstances. Grandma would have loved it. I wish we'd gotten together more often while she was still alive. One of the hardest things was seeing Pap Pap in so much pain. They were married 54 years. He'd be fine one minute and weak-in-the-knees, about to fall down weeping, the next. You never knew what was going to set him off. Pap Pap is now my last living blood grandparent. I never got to meet my mother's mother, my mother's father passed away in 2007, and now Grandma. I haven't been to visit him since the funeral, which I'm feeling guilty about. I haven't had the chance. Sam has football and Hannah has soccer every Saturday. And I dare not visit without the kids.

I am disappointed by the lack of response by some of the people in my life who I thought would have been more supportive after Grandma's passing. You let me down.

Matt's parents came to visit the weekend between my birthday and his. We celebrated with steak and cake. It was nice. We got to show off all of our recent home improvements.

Towards the end of his life, my mother's father needed weekly blood transfusions. Ever since then, I try to donate blood as often as I can. (This is every eight weeks.) The Red Cross usually gives out tokens of thanks. In the past I've received t-shirts, fleece blankets, a pin, an umbrella, and coupons for free donuts, pies, pizzas, etc. After Matt and I got together I started dragging him along on my donations. When I arrived home from my week long stay at Pap Pap's there was a pile of mail waiting for me. In it was a notice for an upcoming blood drive in which the first 100 volunteers who made and kept their donation appointment would receive a free ticket to Cedar Point. So I signed Matt and myself up, we make our donations, and we received our tickets. Our first, and only, opportunity to use them was this past Sunday. The children were with their respective other parents; the weather was hot and dry, and so we skipped church and made a day of it. We had a really great time. I'll post pictures soon, hopefully. I haven't been to an amusement park without kids since I've had them. We got to ride the "big rides". Maybe a few too many, but we survived it.

Today was the first day of school. I got to take the van to get its oil changed. They told me that the water pump is leaking, the air filter is dirty, and there is a nail in the rear passenger side tire. My cousin Julie had a nail in one of her tires recently. We were in the Burlington Coat Factory choosing Grandma's party dress, and when we came out she noticed that her tire pressure was low. Fortunately there was a Goodyear right across the street and she went over there and got it fixed. Looking back, I don't think that was a coincidence. I think that Goodyear hires someone to hang out in Burlington Coat Factory's parking lot and waits for women to go in the store. Then they drive tiny little nails into their tires. Mine just wasn't discovered until today.

My mother lives in a building for the elderly and disabled. She came to me with a flyer about a trip the residents are taking to Hershey, PA. They are taking a tour bus, leaving at 5am and returning at 10pm. She commented on how she'd "always wanted to go" and never gotten to. She'd need me to accompany her. Driven by guilt and missed opportunities associated with my grandmother's passing, I agreed to go. After all, the trip was the same week as my mother's birthday. I'll let you know how that one turns out.