Hershey.

We loaded the "luxury coach" at 5am. I was concerned that my mother would have trouble making it up and down the bus stairs, but there were handrails and there was no problem. We started out on our 5 1/2 hour drive. I promptly fell asleep. I awoke at 8am. The bus was stopped. We were on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. We SAT THERE for OVER AN HOUR while they cleared an accident. We stopped at a McDonald's for breakfast. Most people, myself included, got off and went inside. Mom stayed on the bus and made her way to the back to use the RESTROOM. We reloaded the bus and continued our journey. We arrived at Hershey's Chocolate World at 12:30. Our scheduled tour started at 11:30. We were rescheduled for 1pm. We had just enough time to make it to the RESTROOM and back. Our tour included various activities which lasted until approximately 2:45. At that time we were given our meal and dessert tickets and directed toward the food court. By the time we were finished eating it was 3:30. We had 30 minutes to use the RESTROOM, do any shopping we wanted, and make it back to the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 4pm. The majority of us stood at the entrance waiting on a few stragglers who decided that they were not given adequate shopping time. When they decided to show up at 4:20, we departed. I, again, promptly fell asleep. At 7:40 I felt my mother stand up in her seat. I had been sleeping for the past three hours. Ear plugs in, sunglasses on, and u-shaped neck pillow in place. Mom made her way out into the aisle. She was headed toward the RESTROOM. The next thing I knew, the bus driver stepped on the brake. I jumped out of my seat. Mom went down. Flat on her back. Right there in the aisle. It all seemed like a dream. I screamed, she screamed, at least a dozen old ladies screamed. I knew that I couldn't lift her. I've tried before and failed. There was a lady in the back who declared that she could get Mom up. She made her first attempt: no go. She made her second attempt: no go. She decided that I needed to get behind Mom and help. So I climbed over the seat and assumed the position. Third attempt: no go. It was then discovered that Mom's one leg was actually UNDER her seat, so it didn't really matter how much effort was being made to lift Mom, she wasn't going up unless her leg was detachable. Meanwhile, the bus driver was not interested in the goings-on of the passengers. He was concentrating on making up the time we had lost by leaving 20 minutes late. We were still going 65mph down the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Mom's leg was repositioned and we gave it one more try. Mom made it up and back to her seat. The entire bus cheered. The only problem was, she still hadn't made it to the RESTROOM. The helpful lady who assisted in picking Mom up off the bus floor accompanied her there and then back to her seat. Mom made a remark that the death grip that the lady had on her actually made the mammogram that she received the Friday before seem enjoyable. We stopped at a service plaza shortly after due to a few ladies demanding a cigarette break. Mom was asked if she needed help off the bus and I quickly made the decision for her. She was not going anywhere. I made my way into the service plaza where I treated myself to a soft drink. I thought I'd earned it. I also picked up a couple of postcards to remind me of this special trip: one with Hershey's Kisses on it, and the other featuring the The Pennsylvania Turnpike. It seemed appropriate since I'd spent 3 1/2 hours in Hershey and 13 1/2 hours on the bus. We arrived back at Mom's building at 10:10. She made it off the bus without incident and declared that she was headed to her apartment to use the RESTROOM. I sprinted all the way to my vehicle.

The trip wasn't a total loss. I learned that "Big Ethel" has to shave (her face) three times a week. She also used to suffer from severe leg cramps. That is, until her doctor recommended that she put a potato in the bed with her. The idea intrigued Gwen, who suffers from "real bad spurs " in her feet. Big Ethel said that she wasn't sure the potato would have the same effect on spurs that it does on leg cramps, but she recommended trying it anyway. Her argument being that it couldn't hurt to try, after all, if it didn't work, Gwen could always remove the potato from her bed and eat it. Gwen agreed and stated that the potato dish of her choice would be hash browns.