Pinky the Octopus (2009-2009)

Yesterday we suffered a great loss in our household. Pinky the Octopus died at the age of 3 weeks due to natural causes. We met Pinky the last time Hannah visited her one set of grandparents who frequently shop at the dollar store. Pinky was a pink rubber, liquid-filled toy octopus who quickly became a beloved member of the family. He was cute despite the fact that he only had one eye. (An injury from the war which was a sensitive topic of discussion.) He was kind of like a stress toy. You squeezed him and different parts of him bulged out bringing great joy to all. Last night while tidying up the living room and straightening the throw pillows on the couch I discovered our little pink friend. I picked him up and decided to give him a couple of squeezes on his trip to the bottom of the staircase where he would then catch a ride with the next person going up. It was on his second squeeze that he gave up the battle. The pressure was too great and his frail little body just couldn’t take anymore. Pink octopus guts spewed forth. All over me, the coffee table, the floor. The goop shot about four to five feet in every direction. Matt was on the phone with his mother when it happened. I let out a shriek. Matt gave me a very confused look, wondering what on earth the commotion was about. It took a minute to sink in that the octopus in my hand was now flat and there was pink ooze splattered all over the place. We both busted out laughing. I had to break the news to Hannah this morning. She seemed to take it rather well. I tried to stress that the passing process was very quick and it was likely that Pinky did not suffer. Services will be held Tuesday morning curb-side, where friends and family will gather for a brief celebration of Pinky’s life before his earthly remains are taken to their final resting place of the Akron City Dump via the Akron City Department of Sanitation. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Pinky’s memory to the ASPCRA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Rubber Animals.)

...and Pam Came Tumbling After.

So I fell down the stairs again yesterday, and this time I decided to really do it right. I'm pretty sure I broke my tailbone. I've been told that they don't do anything for a broken tailbone besides prescribe pain medicine and an orthopedic pillow. I've already got both of those. So I don't see much point in going to the doctor just so he can send me a bill. I did try to "mix it up" a little bit. This time I went down the basement stairs. I've also been told that it may take a good 4 to 6 months for it to heal. Which is great considering my wedding is in 4 months. That should be fun. Maybe I can get my butt pillow sewn right into my dress.

Rub-a-dub-dub, Mom's Stuck in the Tub.

So we take the kids to the Dairy Queen after the cub scout meeting last night. We get there a little after 8pm. Matt and the kids are up at the counter ordering while I am reserving our table. Just then my cell phone rings. It's my mother. She says that she's been stuck in her bathtub since 3pm. She took her telephone into the bathroom with her while she was taking her shower just in case anyone called. Apparently someone did call. It was one of her friends. She explained to him that she had been stuck in the bathtub for 5 hours and he suggested that she either call her daughter or 911. She chose me. So Matt and I drive an hour to Wooster, free my mother, and then drive an hour back home. So...Mom's moving to Akron, and staying out of the bathtub in the meantime.

Trip to the Vet.

Have you ever tried to coax a 42-year-old that you've only known for less than a year, and just moved in with 10 weeks ago, into the back of a van? (Hint: use doggie treats.) I get to go back next Tuesday with his brother. He's far more naive and not as heavy.

Invitations!

The wedding invitations arrived today! They were dropped off by the nicest UPS man in the world. They were packed safely inside the best plain brown box in the world. Inside that box was some lovely brown paper. Under that brown paper was the most wonderful plain black box in the world. Inside that box was some fabulous tissue paper. Under that tissue paper were the perfect, most beautiful wedding invitations in the world. (I'm a little giddy if you couldn't tell.)

Grandma.

Everyone who knows me well, (heck, everyone who knows me even a moderate amount,) knows that I have a crazy grandmother. That's how I identify her. I say, "My grandmother, you know, the crazy one," and everyone just nods their heads because they know exactly who I'm referring to. And they never question as to why I refer to her the way that I do. She has made a reputation for herself. They all have had the privilege of talking to her on the telephone. She has always called everyone I know randomly. I don't know why. She's called my ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands, along with my ex-in-laws. Most of them have caught on though and let her leave them a message in their voicemail. My mom hasn't figured that one out though. My grandmother calls my mother (her ex-daughter-in-law) regularly. Then I usually get a phone call from my mother complaining about how Grandma is running up her cell phone bill. Then the next time I talk to my grandmother she tells me how she can never get my mother off of the phone. She calls my cousin Julie and tells her what a horrible granddaughter I am. She'll make up these crazy stories about things I've stolen from her or awful things I've said to her. Then I get a call from Julie asking me if I knew that Grandma feels the way she does about the topic of the hour. And of course I have no idea what she's talking about. I'm thankful that Julie has the sense to know that Grandma suffers from some arterial flow problems and is in her own little world. It's always fun though to hear what soap opera scene I've participated in in Grandma's imagination. The latest one is that I took the money Grandma gave my daughters for Christmas, which was intended to buy clothes with, and took Matt out to a big fancy dinner? First of all, Grandma did give the girls Christmas money, $10 each. But then she had them put it in their "secret hiding place" at her house for safe keeping. So I never touched the girls' Christmas money. And secondly, $20 would not touch any "big fancy dinner" that Matt and I eat. It would cover a trip though a drive-thru and that's about it. I mean, really? What kind of mother am I? My children are running around naked because I needed a Whopper and some onion rings? Yes, I understand that complaining about this to the world makes no sense because Grandma is never going to change. I just needed to vent. I'm done now.

Easter Outfits.

Well, it took 2 days and trips to 4 different Wal-marts, but I found the kids' Easter outfits. They are all cornflower blue. The reason I had to go to 4 different Wal-marts was because the dress I wanted for Ariel was not available in her size at the first 3. But, I eventually found it. Never give up, never surrender. Galaxy Quest was a great movie.