A long year.

A year ago my life changed. I've learned a lot since then. I've learned that some of the people you think will always stand by you disappear when the going gets tough. Blood is not always thicker than water. I've learned that God answers prayers in ways you could never imagine. I've learned that love conquers all. Mostly I stand amazed at God's faithfulness. I thank my late grandmother for providing me with a strong foundation. Without it I never could have survived.

It's Friday.

The NEW invitations have arrived. The flowers have arrived. We have another meeting with our fabulous wedding planner tomorrow and a cake tasting on Sunday. I weigh 166. I've lost 33 pounds. Matt has lost 18 since Christmas. I'm so proud of him!

Alone.

I am sad. At this point I'm really considering eloping. I'd refund any money anyone has spent on the wedding thus far. Which I believe would only be the bridesmaids' dresses. What made me think that I deserve a real wedding? I'm not special. I'm no one's "little girl". I'm no one's "best friend". I have two failed marriages which pretty much makes me the laughing stock of the family. Why would anyone waste any time, effort, money on this wedding? There's just going to be another one in a couple of years, right?

Just checking in.

I now weigh 168. I've lost 31 lbs. 18 more to go!

Five more months...

Five months till my wedding day. Weighed in this morning at 171! (-28 lbs.) And I had a "Cookie Fudge Fantasy Sundae" and a steak for dinner yesterday!

Success!

Happy New Year! The scale tells me I weigh 175, which is -24 lbs. Also, Matt has a court date (January 31st) and we have a wedding date reserved with the pastor (June 18th). Very exciting!

Three Down, One More to Go...

We had a gathering planned for this past Saturday night, but it had to be postponed. So instead we had: Friday- Five Guys and a movie, Saturday- The Olive Garden and a nap, Sunday- home-made pizza and housework. And I weighed in this morning at 177.